Well I have just made the cruel discovery that I am 60kg again, 6kg above what I was when I last checked in, which over 4 or 5 months isn't bad, but def isn't good, I will explain though, I have been very ill for over a month now with sinus infections, ear infections and now a flu, so I haven't been able to run, and being November in Australia it is now starting to get fucking hot, almost too hot for my body to run. This sinking feeling has caused me to go into panic mode, I have practically stopped eating, which is quite difficult when I have a boyfriend who all too aware of my history with Ana.
I have been experimenting on what works for me so that I can maintain my busy professional life in Human Resources, but also so I can get home and maintain my busy social calender, training regime and after all that try and find time to sleep. Pure glucose is something I'm working with, Jelly Beans to be exact, but not the ones that you get at any tuck shop, but the ones that diabetics use that you get at the chemist. My current experiment is eating just enough that I don't pass out from exhaustion and hunger, and enough to keep me functioning at work, but not enough that I can't burn them off. So far so good, until I tried running in the heat tonight, which ended with me under a tree with Anthony feeding me a chocolate n some Powerade coz I was white and not looking flash at all. So I'm now re-thinking me summer exercise, because I will not be able to walk let alone run when it will be up to 48 degrees celcius where I live. I am considering taking up swimming for a few months and see how that goes, who knows, all I know is that I have to go back to the drawing board.
I will also mention that I am a bit of a grinch, Christmas turns everyone into raging lunatics, I go knocked over at the plaza today but some miserable sod, she knocked all the stuff I had in my arms from doing the mail and picking up coffee for my work mates and another xmas pressie for Anthony (our first xmas together so I went a lil nuts) and she looked at me as if it was my fault and kept walking without helping me with anything that she had kocked on the floor. However I do like my current parking situation, because it's private (7 foot fence with a security code n key) I have been granted access to use it on weekends so that I don't have to spend an hour looking for a park, and its right across from Myer (where most my shopping is done).
So back to this weight dilemma
Most my clothes still fit me, but there are surely many that don't, which includes one very very nice Ralph Lauren bikini, and that kills me inside. I'm off to Bali in March and I swear if it means I don't eat a proper meal between now and then so I can fit in it well that would be fine with me. I am fortunate that I also have a weigh conscious boyfriend so we rarely eat bad food, the worst is the occassional pizza (both our favorite) but we then punish ourselves with sport, basketball, soccer, swimming, running, anything really that has us sweating like animals. I'm definitley not going anywhere near water on Christmas, I'll sit in the shade covered up like a fatty should be.
Well back to the drawing board for me, new diet, new exercise and hopefully the old skinny me will be back
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